NINE years ago today, I married the girl of my dreams.
No, seriously. She is. She is perfect. Angelic. She’s exceedingly beyond what I prayed for, what I dreamed of, whenever my imagination was wild enough to even think there was a girl on this planet who would love me.
When you get married twenty yards away from the crashing sea and there are dolphins leaping in the air on a dazzling fall day but you notice none of it because all you see is the radiance of your bride, you know she’s the girl of your dreams.
Your father is officiating the ceremony. The people in the world you love the most are all there with you (minus a few). It’s the only time they’ll ever be in the same place at the same time. It is a foretaste of heaven. But you’re so enchanted by her that anything anyone else says becomes white noise. That’s when you know she’s the girl of your dreams.
When you spent your life crying yourself to sleep from sorrow and on your wedding night, you cry yourself to sleep from the joy and ecstasy that she is yours, you know she’s the girl of your dreams.
When you’re so delirious with joy that you find yourself telling complete strangers in the lobby of the hotel that you married the girl of your dreams yesterday? When your love song is from a Shrek movie. When she’s so much like you that she too insists on watching television with the subtitles on because she enjoys reading along.
When she spends nine years of her life with you and she sees you at your absolute worst. Experiences all of your demons. Witnesses your every wretched failing. Hears every thoughtless and stupid thing you said to her in the heat of some moment you took out on her…
When you see the hurt and the tears and the disappointment burning in her eyes – but she still finds a way to forgive you at the end of the day? And she still loves you. Still respects you? Still praises you and rushes to your defense when someone is cursing your name. And never, ever gives up on you.
You know she’s the girl of your dreams.
One thing God has taught me about marriage is that His teachings aren’t just about our relationship with Him. They’re also about our relationship with our spouse.
The fruits of the Spirit – the polar opposite of the works of the flesh (Galatians 5) – you know, the selfish, impetuous stuff that extinguishes every failed marriage. The Beatitudes (“Blessed are the peacemakers. Blessed are those who mourn. Blessed are the merciful. Blessed are the gentle…”).
Forgiveness – “I say to you, not up to seven times but seventy times seven…”
The mind of Christ – doing nothing from selfish ambition, counting others as more important than yourself, honoring the other above yourself, loving one another, washing the feet of your brother, joyously participating in their joy, bitterly weeping in their grief, going the second, the third, the fourth mile…they’re all in regards to the church.
But how beautiful when it’s practiced in the cathedral of the living room, of the bedroom, of the kitchen, of the marriage covenant.
Perhaps the foremost of them all – the wise man and the foolish man.
Whether the foundation of the house was rock or sand, both are subject to the hurricane.
The thunder roars. The downpour floods the soil. The lightning bolts thrash the earth. The hail rattles and bangs on the roof. The winds hiss and slam against the house.
As for the sandcastle built on the seashore? It fell. Instantly. And “great was its fall.” Its foundation was flimsy.
As for the house built on the rock? The rain and the winds surrender. The debris settles. And coming into view is the sight of the house securely standing, surviving even the tsunami. Its foundation was the Lordship of Christ.
That’s the kind of marriage I dreamed of. That’s the kind of wife I vividly imagined and prayed for late at night when I couldn’t sleep. And that’s the dream girl that He brought into my life.
This morning, my dream and my prayer is that I might become the husband and man who I thought I would be when we said “I do,” but still haven’t managed to live up to. The one she deserves.
I want her dreams to come true too.